His Royal Highness, Itt, was not feeling well. He had just
received news of a plot to assassinate the King, Itt himself!
Now, Itt was well known among his subjects, for King Itt was the
boldest, the bravest and the reddest of all the red blood cells
in Earnest Hemmingway's body. Itt ranged far and wide through
Mister Hemmingway, while at the same time being paid homage and respect
by all the other red cells. But there was an ominous rumor that
the white cells were gaining in number, and that in a certain part
of Mister Hemmingway's anatomy they were going to sweep out of
a side capillary and destroy Itt.
The King devised a solution, and this was Itt's idea: he would abdicate
his title until the danger had passed. With this in mind, Itt
called Himm to his side. "King Himm," Itt said, "I now pronounce
you King of the Red Cells!" and with a flourish Itt passed the
scepter to Himm.
Now, King Himm had a habit of humming as he hurried through his job of
hustling through Hemmingway, so when he became King, Himm was still
humming along while Itt was nowhere to be seen. As Himm passed the
secret capillary someone called out "Have you seen the King?", and
someone else answered "Yes, that's Himm now", pointing to the
humming Himm. Immediately, the white blood cells swarmed out of the
capillary and devoured, yes, actually ate, Himm.
Disgusting! But wait! Charging with his red followers Itt attacked
the white cells! A battle ensued, I will tell you, but of course
Itt was victorious and so he regained his crown, his throne, his
A just conclusion, you might say, for Itt was now reigning again
John B. Moss
5 August 1993